He's the Woman
by nikham3
Summary: Sebastian's going to HOLLYWOOD! But there's a catch, he has to dress up as his sister to make the bigtime! COMPLETE!
1. Transformation

He's the Woman

Sebastian walked into Illyria one day and noticed that everyone was staring at him. "What's the matter?" he asked Toby, who was walking close by.

"Dude!" Toby exclaimed, "You're going to Hollywood to perform!"

"What?" Sebastian asked in excitement.

"You heard me. Your band is going to Hollywood to perform in Battle of the Bands. Whoever wins gets a contract for a year."

After all this excitement, there had to be catch or two. Numero uno, Olivia came to him that morning in a serious voice, saying, "We need to talk." So they sat on a bench and talked in the middle of the courtyard.

Olivia started, "You know, Sebastian, I thought I really liked you, but it was your sister posing as you that I was interested in. I mean, you're cool, but you're different from Viola."

"So what are you saying?" Sebastian asked. "You want to date Viola?"

"No, I'm saying I don't want to date you. You're not the Sebastian I fell in love with." Olivia said quietly.

Sebastian sighed. "Well, I guess it was good while it lasted. Everyone says we're different even though Viola and I look alike."

After the break-up, they each went their separate ways, not really having the courage to face one another again. But, there was another catch.

"Sebastian!" Viola screamed from across the courtyard. She, Kia, and Yvonne had transferred schools to Illyria. When she came closer she laughed, "I heard you're going to Hollywood. Way to go, bra. Oh, but some girl called my cell phone and asked if Viola was there. So I said, 'Yeah, this is.' Then she told me that she was delighted to have you in the Battle of the Girl Bands. She said there weren't many bands entered and she was happy to have Viola and the Dudes on stage. Oh, and she said she worked for the contest, so she knows what she's talking about."

"Girl band?" Sebastian asked, confused. "Viola? Toby said I was entered in the contest, I didn't think he meant as a girl band! I'm going to go set this straight." He pulled out his cell phone.

"Sebastian, wait! You have a better chance of winning here. If you win this contest, you can become big, and then you could live life like you wanted to."

"Yeah, as Viola and the Dudes! I am not a flipping girl band!" Sebastian said angrily.

"Sebastian," Viola grabbed his arm as he tried to walk away, "You know how hard it is to win the real Battle of the Bands. You should know, since you've entered it for the last 4 years. This could be your big break and you could win, and then reveal that you're a guy."

"Yeah, I think that could work, but how am I going to pull this off?"

"Hello? I dressed up as a boy for 2 weeks to take your place. You can take mine easily."

"I can't sing like a girl, Viola."

"You don't have to; tell them you have a deep voice."

"But what about when I talk about girls in my song?"

"Tell them you prefer girls over boys. They can't judge you for it."

"I don't look like a girl!"

"Then we better go to Paul after school!"

During school, all anyone could talk about was how Sebastian was going to Hollywood. They all asked him to get autographs of the famous stars he would see there, and Sebastian knew that he had to go through with it, to gain popularity for his sake. I mean, ever since he and his sister showed their privates in the big soccer game, they had been pretty much liked by everyone, except Malcolm. But Viola had always been more outgoing and more popular; maybe this was the chance of a lifetime for Sebastian.

After school, Viola met him outside, and they went to Paul's new hair salon. Paul had met a guy named Doug and they fell in love. Now they opened their own hair and beauty salon not too far from where Paul worked before, and they made their own profits.

"Sebastian?" Paul asked as Sebastian and Viola walked through the doors of Paul and Doug's Hair Etc. "Wow, I think I need to sit down."

"Haha," Viola laughed sarcastically, "Sebastian and me—well I guess I should say Viola and I would like your help."

"Oh no," Paul sighed. "Let me guess, Sebastian wants to turn into to you to see if a girl likes him or not."

Sebastian laughed, "No. I need to go to Hollywood under Viola's name to get a record contract for my band when I compete in the girls' version of Battle of the Bands."

"Once again, you don't know how to act, the mannerisms, the…" Paul was interrupted.

"Come on Paul!" Viola said, batting her eyelashes.

"Yeah," Sebastian imitated, batting his eyelashes as well, "Come on Paul!"

"Whoa," Paul blinked, "You guys look scary alike when you do that."

"So you'll do it?" Viola and Sebastian asked at the same time.

"Stop doing that! Yes, I'll do it!"

Doug and Paul spent the rest of the day and the next day trying wigs on Sebastian and fixing makeup on him and shopping for lady's clothing. Then there came a problem about the breasts.

"No way, I'm done with this!" Sebastian exclaimed when they told him he looked flat-chested. "I'm not going to get boobs and then have guys staring at them the whole time."

"Now you know how it feels. Suck it up and get over it! Sometimes when you want something so bad you will sacrifice, like I did! Plus, how are you going to become a famous rock star without winning this contest?" Viola fumed.

So he got over it, with his motivation to become famous. Doug used some kind of fake flesh thing balled up to be used as breasts, and Viola was embarrassed when he measured them up to her. Finally, after the whole boob thing, Sebastian had the feminine body parts and they moved onto his face a little more. After a little make up and an eyebrow plucking, Sebastian looked somewhat like a girl. Now, he was ready to assume his role as Viola Hastings.

Now all he had to do was tell his band members about the girl band thing. Sebastian called them together for a meeting in his garage.

"Okay guys, promise not to freak?" Sebastian prefaced the talk with.

Ham, the fat sophomore that played drums, Kevin, the hot senior that played bass guitar, and Daniel, a shy boy who played guitar with Sebastian, all nodded their heads.

Sebastian told them about Viola's idea to become a girl band. They all nodded until Sebastian was done talking. Then Sebastian asked, "What do you think?"

Ham said, "This could be our big break!" You could see the stars in his eyes. "I think we should do it!"

Daniel said, "I don't know. What if we get caught? I mean, we'll be disqualified and embarrassed. I still have two more years left of high school, I can't take the ridicule."

"It's cool, as long as we don't have to dress up as girls. Besides, if they find out he's a guy, we could be like, 'What? Viola, how could you do this to us?'" Kevin laughed.

So they all agreed on participating and they practiced their song, except Sebastian was trying to do it in a little higher a voice, so it would sound like a girl kind of. Actually, it sounded pretty good, and he was happy to say they might be able to pull it off.

Yvonne walked into Duke's room that day looking for Viola. She pretty much threw up when she saw Andrew on Duke's bed dancing around to a song on the radio.

"What the heck?" Yvonne asked.

"Um, hey, I don't think I've introduced myself yet. My name's Andrew, I'm Duke's friend."

"I'm Yvonne, Viola's friend. Um, why are you in Duke's room?"

"I'm babysitting," he said sarcastically. "Duke gave me the key. He said he's got junk food stashed in here and Monique's got me on a diet."

"You're dating Monique?" Yvonne laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't dumped her yet."

"I'm going to dump her tomorrow. No girl's gonna control Andrew! I mean, I can eat whatever I want, as long as I exercise, I won't get fat."

"Okay then, where are Viola and Duke?"

"Out on a date. Figures. Those two have been mad about each other since the debutant ball."

"Tell Viola I was looking for her, okay?"

"Will do, ma'am. Now excuse me as I chug Mountain Dews and scarf down Oreos and Cheetos."

Yvonne laughed. Andrew was sort of cute, but definitely not her type. Of course he was a jock, sort of like her, but he was definitely crazy and Yvonne was down to earth and calm. Plus, Viola had told her that Duke said that Andrew could be sort of a control freak at times, and Yvonne hated guys that took all the power. She loved being the boss and didn't want any guy to take that away from her.


	2. Duds

Without him, she was nothing. With him, she could do anything; all was possible. When he held her in his arms, there was no force on earth that was more powerful. How could he do this to her? Her heart was broken now, that he had left. All was lost; nothing remained. She always asked herself, was there someone else? Maybe someone more beautiful. How could she release him like that?

Viola balled up the scribbled story on a piece of paper and threw it away. She had to write a short love story for her English class, and she had one week to do it. She needed inspiration, something that would make her feel something. She couldn't think. It was late at night, and she was trying to get the story done so she wouldn't have to think about it at all this week. She had a double-header soccer tournament against Cornwall this weekend and on top of that, Sebastian was going to Hollywood under her name. Could she pull it off?

A tap from Kia and Yvonne came from the door. Viola did everything in Duke's dorm, pretty much because it was usually empty.

"Hey girl, I was looking for you earlier," Yvonne laughed. "I saw the strangest thing when I walked in the door too."

"What did you see?" Viola asked, half laughing and half shoving her stuff on the floor.

"Nothing, it was just weird. Anyways, watcha doin'?" Yvonne asked.

Kia butted in, "Yeah, when's the last time you did your homework in your own dorm?"

"I don't know. Guys, it's kinda late, shouldn't we be getting to bed?" Viola responded.

As they walked out the door, Yvonne, once again, ran into Andrew.

"Hey again. You're not going to tell Monique about…?" Andrew asked.

Yvonne stopped him, "No, I won't tell her. I won't tell anyone. Did you dump her yet?"

"I don't have the heart to. I mean, we've been through so much together."

"Well, if you know what's best for you, you might want to dump her."

"Yes ma'am." Andrew laughed.

"Do you mind? I have to go."

Andrew stepped out of her path and the girls kept walking.

Once out of hearing range from Yvonne who was walking very fast, Kia and Viola whispered.

"Oh my gosh. I think Yvonne likes Andrew. They're probably dating or something," Viola whispered.

"How do you know?" Kia asked.

Viola replied, "She wants him to dump Monique. That's a sign that they want to be together."

"Oh, well maybe we should ask Yvonne."

"She'll just deny it! Plus, I don't think they make that good of a couple. Andrew's not good enough for Yvonne."

"You think so? I think he's sort of cute. He's nice and smart, and funny too."

"We can't let them be together. Yvonne deserves so much more."

"So what are we going to do?" Kia asked.

Viola replied with a grin on her face, "I have a plan."

* * *

Sebastian, Kevin, Ham and Daniel boarded the plane in North Carolina to land in Hollywood. Sebastian felt really uneasy, especially since Viola told him to act as her on the plane too. He fooled everyone. Not one person on that plane could tell he was a boy. When they landed in Hollywood, a gray-haired man with a black cap on and a black suit was holding a sign that said Viola and the Duds. The band laughed at the mistake on the sign. They walked towards him.

"Viola and the Duds?" the man asked.

"No," Sebastian used his girl voice. "I'm Viola and these are the _Dudes._"

"Oh, so sorry, my mistake. We have a limousine waiting for you outside. Follow me."

They dragged their luggage to the limo where the man shoved it into the trunk. They climbed in the back and were taken to their all-expenses paid hotel, where they shared two 2-room suites. They were definitely ready for the life of a rock star. That night, they were called to meet in a business room with the rest of the contestants and the producers.

"Lily Pads? Here. Kiss of Life? Here. Pretty Ladies? Here. Viola and the Duds?" One of the producers took roll call.

"Viola and the DUDES!" Kevin called out. Kevin, Ham, and Daniel were the only boys in the room. Sebastian was dressed as Viola again and felt uncomfortable. But, once again, no one ever noticed.

They went through the procedures and difficulties that would be performed in the show. After that, they had a chance to mingle with the other band members.

"Don't get too close," The producer joked, "You'll be battling in a few days."

Sebastian found himself in a strange position. He would have to talk to a girl sooner or later. But what would they talk about? Lingerie? He could hardly say the word. Music? Maybe, but it seemed too easy. Before he knew it, there stood a girl in front of him.

"Hi, my name's Chloe. Yours?" she said.

"I'm Seb---" he stopped in his tracks. He cleared his throat and raised his voice a little, "I'm Viola."

"Nice to meet you. Is this your first time in Battle of the Bands?"

"It's my first time in Battle of the Girl Bands. I competed before though."

"Really? Did you change your band name because I'm pretty sure I haven't heard of Viola and the Dudes before." Her chocolate brown eyes twinkled.

"Um, yes. We used to be Pizza on Monday."

"Pizza on Monday?"

"Don't ask." Sebastian clearly imitated his sister. He had felt very feminine when he said that.

"Then I won't. Listen, I have to go, but you call my suite any time. Ask for Tiffany when you dial this number."

He was about to ask why, but she had already gone.


	3. A Bump In the Body Old Friends

Hey, sorry. It's been a while since my latest post. I guess I'm just brain-dead!

* * *

A bump in the road (or a body)

A blonde, slightly chubby girl stood before a mirror one day. "My God," she said. She threw down her mascara bottle and ran to her phone.

A boy picked up. "Hey baby, what's going on?"

"We need to talk."

The same girl and the same boy met in a coffee shop minutes later. She was dressed in loose-fitting jeans and a pink t-shirt. He wore a soccer jersey and shorts. The two were different but both the same: superficial and stupid.

"What happened to you? I leave town for two weeks and you gain a hundred pounds?" he said.

"It's not a hundred pounds!" the girl cried. She didn't want anyone to see her crying, but she didn't want anyone to see her look fat either. "It's only two weeks."

He looked at her stomach, then her face. His raised eyebrows required an answer.

"Yes, Justin, I'm pregnant," Monique whispered.

* * *

Old Friends

"Tiffany, it's for you!" an older woman called.

"Thanks, Grandma. Hello?"

"Hey Chloe, it's… Viola. Do you want to meet me by the pool?"

"Yeah, let me get the okay. I'll be down in a few minutes."

Down the stairs she came, onto the back deck where the pool lay. She wore a blue and green striped bikini and blue plastic flip-flops. The moon reflected off of her tan skin and shone against the deck of the pool. Sebastian, in jeans and a t-shirt sat in a chair, eyeing her closely.

"No bathing suit?" she giggled.

"Um, I forgot-" he cleared his throat- "I forgot to pack one."

"That's okay," she sighed. "So, did you want to talk to me about something?"

"I really want to get to know you, but instead of making the same mistake as my sister, I think I'm going to lay my cards out on the table. I'm not who you think I am," he explained.

Chloe laughed sarcastically, "So you're not a hot guitar player?"

"Hot?"

"Cut the crap, Sebastian."

"How did you know my real name?"

"I went to Cornwall with you a year or two ago. I never got the nerve to ask you out, but now that you're in a wig and girl jeans, I can talk to you," she laughed.

"So then you know Viola too."

"Yep. I think that is so cool, how you're dedicated enough to disguise yourself, but you're not going to win."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she smiled. "You may be gorgeous, but you're definitely not going to beat my band."

"Gorgeous?" his eyebrows raised with the wig.

"I'm sorry, am I speaking too fast? I-LIKE-YOU!" She leaned into kiss him, and he followed, but millimeters from their lips touching, she pulled away. "You have to win, first." She jumped out of the chair she was sitting in and ran upstairs.

As he watched her leave, he couldn't help but thinking of how much he wanted that kiss. His mind went back over the years. He met her in Kindergarten. She was tall, had a cute Barbie backpack, and always stole his red crayon. Red was his favorite color. In seventh grade, just before their first dance, she puked all over him while trying to ask him out.

Beginning high school, Sebastian found her on a bench outside of Cornwall. She had her head in her hands, and he sat next to her on the bench. She had told him that she was nervous, and she didn't have anyone to talk to. So Sebastian had taken her hand, and told her that he would be there for her. He hadn't kept his promise.

Just before she was transferred to another school, she wrote Sebastian a note, saying how much she hated him. Did she really like him, or was it a joke?


	4. Winning

"Yvonne!" Viola called from the hallway to the open dorm room door. Viola was sitting in the hall working on that stupid English paper again.

"What's up?" Yvonne asked, peering her head out the door.

"I can't think of anything!" Viola whined.

Yvonne laughed, "Sorry, honey, I'm going out. Kia's taking me to a fancy club and we're gonna drink… a lot."

"What's the occasion?"

"Um, I don't know, those were her words."

Viola laughed. It was all part of the _evil plan._ Kia was going to make Yvonne find a man, so she would forget about Andrew.

"Alright, I'll work on it by myself," Viola pouted.

* * *

"You know," Monique said to Andrew as they walked into Illyria holding hands, "I really like you, Andrew, but…"

"But?" Andrew dropped her hand, "What do you mean but?"

"Come here," she said, as she motioned for him to sit on a nearby bench with her. "I've been thinking lately, well that's not all I've been doing but…"

"You're seeing someone else?" Andrew guessed.

She nodded, "Well not exactly seeing, it was just a fling and something happened."

"You're pregnant."

"Yes," she bowed her head, "but not for long."

"You know what," Andrew stood, "It's not my baby so I don't have to worry. You're a brat, and we're over." He walked away, and Monique sat on the bench pouting.

* * *

Sebastian stood center stage. This was it: the big thing. It had been two short weeks of preparing and hard practicing, but here was Viola and the Duds, getting ready to play for a very large crowd. "Hey everybody," Sebastian started, "I'm Viola and these are the Dudes." With a count-off from Ham, the band blasted a loud chord and the song started. Sebastian had such a tough time writing it to not be about a girl or a boy, so this, he thought, was the best song he had ever written. The crowd clapped and jumped and shouted, and Sebastian thought they had enjoyed the song. With the last note, Sebastian turned his head up to the stage light, temporarily high on the adrenaline of how much power he had at that very moment. He lowered his head and smiled, his head drenched in salty sweat.

Ten minutes later, Sebastian, Kevin, Ham and Daniel stood behind the curtains, butterflies and all other kinds of insects knotted in their stomachs. "Dude, we so won," was repeated many times by each of the band members besides Sebastian. He had a ping in his stomach, a ping of guilt. Chloe and her band deserved to win this competition and get the recording contract and all the other rewards because they hadn't cheated. In the back of his mind, Sebastian was silently praying that his band wouldn't win.

The director stood center stage with a small envelope and a microphone. "Ladies and gentleman," the director said, quieting the crowd, "The results are in. It seems that three bands dominated over the rest of the competition: Kiss of Life, Black and White Photograph, and Viola and the Dudes!"

Sebastian gritted his teeth to keep his disappointment from his band members. Black and White Photograph was Chloe's band.

"However," the director laughed, "only one band won. It was very close between these three. In third place… Kiss of Life!" The members of that band trudged onto stage and waved to the crowd that cheered for them. "In second place," the director continued, "Black and White Photograph… Which leaves Viola and the Dudes to the win!"

Sebastian wanted to throw up, but his friends nudged him onto the stage to collect their much-achieved applause. He slowly stepped onto stage, recollecting all the instructions given him in how to act like a girl. The director handed him the microphone, "Would you like to say a few words?"

Sebastian nodded solemnly. "Don't say anything about you know what, Seb," Kevin whispered.

Sebastian stared at the silent crowd. All the power he had had left him and now all he possessed was a cold microphone and the complete attention of the biggest crowd he had ever seen.

"I'm sorry," he said in his Sebastian voice. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm not Viola. I'm her twin brother Sebastian. I dressed up as a girl, wrote completely new songs, changed my way of life for three weeks and now I'm standing up here like an idiot, feeling guilty for stealing all of this honor away from the girl of my dreams."

The director ripped the microphone out of Sebastian's hands and brought it to her lips. "I'm sorry, Sebastian, but you and your dudes are disqualified. The real first place winner is Black and White Photograph!"

Chloe and her band jumped onto stage with girly squeals.

"You finally won that kiss," Chloe whispered to Sebastian and she kissed him. Sebastian's band laughed because Sebastian was still dressed as a girl.

"Congrats," Sebastian said to Chloe.

She smiled and took the microphone, "I'd like to thank this crowd for being such good sports. It was a joke all along of course, we just wanted to see if anyone was fooled," she laughed as she made up the fib. Sebastian and his crew gave thumbs-up to the audience as they burst into laughter. "Anyways," Chloe began, "As real winners, my band and I would like to thank every one of you in this crowd for giving us a new future and we'd also like to thank you in advance for giving us the biggest step in our career."

* * *

When all the excitement was over, Sebastian was back in his dude clothes and standing under the bright light on the stage. All the people were gone, except for one lonely janitor sweeping the floors in the back of the auditorium.

"Hey princess," a man's voice said as he stepped onto the stage, "Whatcha up to?"

"Reliving the glory days," he laughed.

"Your band is very talented, it's a shame you didn't win."

Sebastian looked down from the light to see a man in a suit extending his hand. He shook it, "Thanks."

"My name is Ted Williams. I represent Hawk Records and I'd like to make you a deal. The rest of the country laughs this whole thing off but I saw behind your makeup. I saw a boy who really wanted to win and I saw a band of boys who really wanted to win. That's the desire we're looking for and I'd like to offer your band a contract with details we can discuss when we're all together."

Sebastian smiled, "That'd be great."

* * *

"Kia, are we done drinking?" Yvonne asked annoyed.

"No, you need… to… find a man," Kia said, drunk and slightly conscious.

"I haven't even been drinking. This isn't beer it's ginger ale. C'mon let's go," Yvonne grabbed her jacket.

"No, Viola said… you and Andrew… can't be together," Kia explained, "He… not good… for youuu."

"Me and Andrew?" Yvonne laughed. "Not at all. Kia, we're going home. Andrew and I aren't dating."

Kia dropped her head on the counter and snored.

* * *

"VIOLA!"

"Huh? What? Oh hi, Yvonne," Viola stammered as she picked her head up from Dukes desk.

"Why did you tell Kia that Andrew and I were dating? She's passed out from drinking, and I'm not finding a man anytime soon, so leave me alone."

"Look, I was just watching out for you, I'm sorry."

* * *

"Monique, did you get rid of the baby yet?" Justin asked.

"No, I can't do it," she sobbed, "It's my baby."

"Then don't do it. But I'm not going to be the father."

Monique patted him on the shoulder, "You will always be the father." She walked away, finally being able to accomplish self-confidence and being able to make her own decisions. She may be alone but she will always have that sense of accomplishment.

* * *

"It may seem like we were never meant to be when all of the sudden I realized it could work. You and I were the same all along but we never thought that love could be so easy. We had always seen it between others, failing with a terrible thump every time no matter what happened. And I'm sorry I've never said this before, because I was just too caught up in being with you… I love you. Not the superficial love that could be had between middleschoolers, but the love of an elderly couple sitting on their porch watching the sunset on an August evening. I love you like that."

"So what do you guys think?" Viola asked as she read the paper to all of her friends.

They clapped and told her it was a beautiful picture.

Duke kissed her, "I love you too."

* * *

I'm so sorry the ending was terrible but I thought all you readers deserved an ending after how long I took to post chapters. Sorrrrrryyyy, but review anyways please.


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